Last Day

Today was my last day of maternity leave and it is back to work on Monday. It was an emotional day and I tried to enjoy every moment, smile, cry, etc....from both Ryan and Brandon. It will be hard to get back in the routine of not being able to be home. Brandon is growing so fast..today he started to bat and grab at toys--a feat he has only started to show the last few days. He is an extremely happy baby and sometimes in the midst of his crying, he is smiling. I know that sounds strange, but he just loves to smile (even when he wants to cry).

I can't believe how fast it has gone by and the stay-at-home-mom hat is hanging up.....A new hat--the "working mom" --will be adorned on Monday. Along with that come a whole new set of challenges. While I have been home, I often would get frustrated at the end of the day when I barely had time to brush my hair and was covered in spit up. Feeling like I was constantly cleaning up goldfish crumbs and spaghetti faces.....always folding clothes and doing dishes, changing diapers...busy running around entertaining Ryan...balancing the kids and husband---never an easy task....and falling into bed relieved for a moment of alone time. I find myself already missing the shirt with spit up, the goldfish crumbs, the poopy diaper, the tired cries of a 3 year old who didn't get a nap. I will miss the smiles and laughs---the tears and sadness. Most of all, I will miss my children and seeing them every moment of the day...knowing they are in the same room..or the next room. I will miss most these moments of motherhood and I know God will bless my children with caregivers who love and cherish them like I do--like only a mother could.

I will go back to a job I love and will put my heart into it because I know it is where God wants me to be. But it will be sad...and it will be hard. And every day when I pick the boys up--I will love the spit up and the hardships and the poopy diapers and the messes they make and will try not to take for granted the moments of motherhood.